what MRI stands for

If you think getting an x-ray is weird, try the MRI sometime. Not only does the machine enable someone to look at your innards, it will show a rendering of your innards in a three-dimensional kind of way. Like a hologram, only way creepier! My complaint about the MRI is not that you have to go lie in a tube that feels somewhat coffin-like (and it's all radioactive and loud - they give you earplugs so when you come out you aren't crippled and deaf), but that you have to lie in the tube flat on your back, which is a difficult position for those of us with disk problems. Lying flat on my back means that my disk presses on my sciatic nerve and sends a referring pain that feels somewhat like an icepick stabbing into my hip socket. Not to be dramatic, but that's as good of a description as I can come up with, and one which the MRI technician said was used commonly. So I'm not the only whiney titty-baby in this scenario.

<<<< EEEWWWWWWW!

(not my actual disk. mine looks less like a cartoon
and doesn't have any typesetting on it.)

Anyhoodle, it wasn't claustrophobia that got me, it was the pain spasms. "Oh," the technician said through the tinny speaker three inches from my nose, "you moved that time. We'll have to do that one over. Hold still, try not to breathe, this one's for 4 and a half minutes" BEEP BEEP BEEP. We had to do a couple of them over. I was in that damned thing for about 45 minutes. I tried to breathe really small and unobtrusive-like, using the Thich Nhat Hanh "i'm breathing in, i'm breathing out" thing, but the small voice inside me kept saying SHIT! I'm stuck in a tube! And there's an icepick in my hip socket! I lay there thinking, Gee, I don't remember the MRI being this painful when I had it done back in 2005.... When the results were in, the reason for that was clear. There is apparently further damage to the disk; I believe the technical term we use here in Maine is "stove up all to hell."

It's a sobering thought that the window of opportunity
for me to investigate certain career choices is fast closing.
I'm crossing acrobatics, logging, and stone wall
construction off my list. Dammit.

Conferring with my doctor this morning I was told that since my disk is "stove up all to hell" I could still do the physical therapy which might help a bit though it wouldn't fix the problem, and I could see the pain specialist and try the cortisone injections but it was doubtful even that would help much; what I really need is "surgical intervention." All in all, not a real uplifting chat we had there. I won't know more until I speak to the neuro-somebody-or-other who can look at those blobby pictures (thanks to me "breathing in and breathing out" just a little too vigorously in the tube) and see just where the disc is poking out and how we can get to it. Needless to say, I am disappointed and still hoping for some miraculous, minimally-invasive procedure to present itself (Magic School Bus in your Spine!)

In the meantime, send me good thoughts. And chocolate. Or, a funny joke.(1)

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(1) Oh wait, that reminds me!

Why were the pilgrims' pants always falling down?
......

Because they wore their belt buckles on their hats!



Why are gorillas' nostrils so big?
......

Because their fingers are.



What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
.......

Anyone can roast beef!



What does MRI stand for?
......

Because it hurts too much to lie down!